Life of MIXED.

Why not having sex SUCKS.

2009-09-26T10:40:00.003-05:00

Because I feel super restless and I can't focus - at school, on the subway, walking down the street, watching tv, etc, without some hot guy coming around some corner and distracting me. Because I'm always wet. Because I have no idea how to get any exercise without regular sex and masturbation. Running? No thanks.

On the other hand, not having sex this past month has given me a chance to think about my relationships a little bit more; that is, the relationships I have with the people I fuck, and if I want those relationships to change. I think I'm ready for an actual relationship, like, to be someone's girlfriend, whereas in the past year or so (since the bad breakup) I haven't been.

The thing is, even during this past year of hookups and fuck buddies, I've been pretty discouraged as to the type of men that are available to me currently. I know good relationships always start in those "when you least expected it" kind of situations, but really all I ever see are conservative guys (no thanks), dumb guys (next please), guys who aren't doing anything with their lives (read a book), and guys who use the word "dope" to describe satisfying events (ugh).

I guess it's just a BE PATIENT kinda thing. And in the meantime, there sure is a hell of a lot of shit I need to figure out for myself. Jesus christ, I mean, I'm in PARIS. I gotta live it up.

It would REALLY help if I could find a French guy to fuck though. Seriously.

transatlantic dreams aren't any different...

2009-09-06T06:40:00.002-05:00

I really want to stop having dreams that I'm fucking me ex. Or that he's fucking other girls. Or that he doesn't want to fuck me. Or that he's fucking me and someone else at the same time. Or that he wants to fuck me but there is something wrong with my vagina and he can't get in so he gets mad at me.

I want my ex out of my head. Now. I am in another country, it's been more than a year. I want him gone.

Quick Update!

2009-08-30T01:00:00.002-05:00

I am leaving for Paris in....16 hours.

Just letting everyone know that I will be keeping a separate travel blog during my semester there:

http://mixeddoesparis.blogspot.com

I'd love to see everyone here over there! Please note however that my blog there will be rated "G" and keeping comments to a less explicit nature than they'd be over here would be much appreciated. I'll have friends from real life reading along over there, and not all of them are in on...this side of me. [:

At any rate, I will still be updating here as much as I can. Thanks to everyone for reading!

ITS NOT JUST ABOUT SEX

2009-08-09T21:43:00.004-05:00

But my blog sorta is.

I've been kind of uncomfortably preoccupied with the idea that my blog is 99.9% about sex. In some ways, it limits people's perception of me as someone only concerned with sex, with nothing to talk about other than sex, and with a pretty lame sex life at that. In other ways, only talking about one subject, be it sex or anything else, gets pretty boring.

I am more than sex, and my life revolves around much more than who fucks me and how. I'm a successful student at a well-known, competitive private university, where I'm working on a double major and a minor. I'm biracial (hence my pseudonym) and am super proud of my ethnicity and rich cultural background. I'm involved in, and lead, numerous campus organizations, and am a very politically-oriented person. I volunteered for the Obama campaign and met him. I can, and will, discuss health care reform, judicial process, foreign policy, and hair product - among other things - with you until you want to punch me in the face. I am aggressively attentive to issues regarding global peace and justice. I am a fierce feminist. I'm trilingual and work as a translator for refugees who are survivors of torture in need of psychiatric/psychological services in this country but lack the language skills to be able to effectively communicate with a therapist. I plan on joining the Teach for America corps after graduating next spring and going to law school after I complete my service. I'd like to work at the International Criminal Courts at the Hague, prosecuting criminals of war. All of these things, along with the ever-evolutionary condition of being a liberated sexual being, make up who I am. I strive everyday to make my beliefs and passions my actions and my life.

On the other hand, this blog represents a place where I can talk about that specific side of me - the side concerned with sex. I live in a conservative community and, save for a treasured few friends (who read and write around these here parts too!), have not found a safe place for openly expressing my self sexually as I do here. I actively express myself in plenty of ways everyday, with what I do and how I do it. And obviously a good part of sexual expression comes from the actual having of the sex. But talking about it and reflecting is important, at least for me, as well. So that's what this place is for. MIXED's sex corner.

ANYWAYS. Back to wanking. Peace lovers.

Dreams.

2009-08-03T01:29:00.004-05:00

I keep having dreams that I'm fucking girls. I'm not disturbed by this, I just think it's interesting seeing as I've never dreamt of fucking a female and all the sudden every night my brain is delving into what my subconscious thinks it feels like to fuck a woman. Shrug.

Britni was here this weekend. Things ended up crazy and I couldn't hang out with her and PPP as much as I wanted to, but it was amazing having her here for a few days of girl fun. She's taught me a lot about being a proud sexual being, and about accepting and owning the woman I am. She rocks. PPP's drunk texts and tweets from the nights Brit was here were hilariously out of control.

I want to fuck my manager at work. I used to hate him and think he was the most anal-retentive and rude person ever, then all the sudden I find myself madly attracted to him and thinking of various ways to get him in the dry storage room in the back of the restaurant to blow him. I believe the turning point in my feelings for him came one night when I was the last server working and he and I shared a crème brulée and talked about our favorite college professors. Intelligence makes me wet. He also wears a really sexy watch. So fucking hot.

I need a pedicure and a dye job for my hair. I want to wear super pale pink Barbie lip color. I wear intense eye makeup (when I decide I'm going to wear makeup) with lots of colors like turquoise, blue, pink, purple, and green - but I need a style revamp. I feel like a new chapter of my life is opening with my semester abroad, and it's just one of those weird times where I want my outside to fit my feelings inside. And my feelings inside are sparkly, with lots of colors, and pale pink lips. My feelings have lips. Don't worry about it.

Pot Psych

2009-07-25T12:30:00.000-05:00

I found this week's episode of Pot Psychology on Jezebel to be particularly funny. I find pretty much every episode to be particularly funny.

I have nothing to say. I work all day long, every day. I serve gluttonous idiots huge portions of unhealthy food for meager wages. I am SO ready to be in Europe.

textsfromlastnight.com

2009-06-30T14:54:00.000-05:00

(704): I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
(803): Genius.

This website makes me LOL.

Blahhh

2009-06-22T01:00:00.000-05:00

I feel like balls.

Sexting

2009-06-11T19:50:00.000-05:00

A text message conversation from this afternoon, with J, who if my FWB that lives in Arkansas.

J: I'm coming into town next weekend. Let's get together.
Me: K. :D When will you be here?
J: Friday.
Me: Why are you coming into town? What will you be doing?
J: You.
Me: Perfect answer.
J: Meet me at my house Friday morning. Bring your new toy. I want you to put it in one hole and I'll be in the other.
Me: Yessss.
J: Good idea?
Me: Fucking fabulous idea.

Next weekend, hurry up.

What to do...

2009-06-02T23:51:00.000-05:00

Alright. So a guy I've fucked periodically since high school invited me to come visit him - he currently lives in Arkansas, I live in Texas. He was here about a month ago and we had SUCH an amazing time. He has visited a few times and I never have made the short trip to visit him. I would REALLY like to get away, as I've been in a weird emotional funk as of late, and I OMGNEED the kitty attention...the guy knows how to use his tongue, and takes control in bed like a fucking pro. But there are a few problems:
1. I am back living with my parents until I go abroad in the fall. It is not possible, as liberal as my mother is, to tell them that I am off for a weekend to visit boy I have not had a relationship with (to their knowledge) since high school. It doesn't make sense.
2. I don't have a ton of extra money available right now. The fiscally responsible decision would be to make sure that all of my cash is going into savings for my Africa and Europe trips coming up at the end of the summer.
3. Despite having seen him and fucked him like a month ago, I feel disgusting. Like ridiculously unattractive. I've gained weight since he last saw me, and I am not feeling comfortable about my physical appearance. He is hot, tall, muscular, and fucks skinny blondes on a regular basis.

HALP. I want the sex. BAD. But the obstacles are daunting.

An Inconvenient Libido

2009-05-29T14:59:00.000-05:00

I just orgasmed six times in less than twenty minutes. God bless my iVibe.

I am craving cunnilingus. A long session. I am craving a hard cock to lick and suck. I had a wet dream last night that I got my face fucked.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have such a high sex drive. It's inconvenient to be instantly turned on when I read a dirty blog post or see a hot guy at the pool. My mind immediately races to dirty thoughts and questions: how long is he? How thick is he? How good is he with his tongue? Would he bend me over the back of the couch? Would he hold my hair at the back of my head and thrust into my throat?

I am watching Rafael Nadal play at the French Open on TV and thinking about him in bed. I watched Terminator: Salvation last night and wondered if Christian Bale likes playing with ass.

This is going to be a long summer if I can't find a steady supply of attention for my kitty.

Wha?

2009-05-22T23:28:00.000-05:00

There has been a lot going on. The semester FINALLY ended, it was insane. I got a job (other than working with my dad and working with refugees and survivors of torture) to make sure I'm saving up a lot before my trip to Rwanda and my semester in Paris coming up. My mom graduated last week with her Master's, and my sister graduates high school next week. One of my best friends from high school is getting married this weekend.

I ended up NOT fucking the guy from the last post. THANK GOODNESS. I met him and we went out to eat, didn't fuck because I was in the middle of finals and was too stressed to have someone stay the night. About a week later, PPP had him over for some fun and it went terribly. What a fucking piece of shit human being. While I dodged a bullet by not fucking him or spending any extensive period of time with him, my heart broke for my friend who got her things stolen AND had a terrible sex experience.

I know I've talked about my Rabbit iVibe before, but I can't stop: IT IS AWESOME. I cannot stop playing. I'm back at home with the parents for the summer, and I have been going to great lengths to get as much quality time with my iVibe as possible. I spend dinners devising plans to stuff a blanket in the crack under my bedroom door to muffle the sounds of vibration and orgasm. My house doesn't have carpet so sound really travels. Any time parents and sister are out of the house, I basically sprint to bed, no matter the time of day. My name is MIXED, and I am addicted to the Rabbit iVibe.

My ex is in town for the weekend. Not boyfriend I was with for six years. This is a boy I was with intermittently during that period. I want to fuck him. He is very tall and skinny, and has a huge cock. Do any other ladies feel like this is a general trend - tall, skinny boys with thick, long dicks? At any rate, I want him bad. In the past we have flirted shamelessly, sent dirty pics to each other, and fucked a lot. But we haven't spoken/flirted/seen each other/done it in awhile, and I don't know how to bring it up. Suggestions?

I hope everyone is doing well! I want more followers on this blog, because I am feeling attention whore-y. I probably need to post a pic of my tits or something, because my thoughts and life are not that interesting. lolz.

Nervous?

2009-05-09T20:55:00.001-05:00

Why am I nervous to meet (and fuck) hot, sweet, gentlemanly, funny, chocolate lover tomorrow? Usually my kitty and I are confident and totally self-assured in all new (ahem) situations. Weird.

Losing My V-Card

2009-05-07T20:41:00.000-05:00

So Ronald posted his story of losing his virginity after some other bloggers did. Because I am bored and unoriginal, I'll share my story as well.

We were freshmen in high school, and had been dating a few months. We were saying "I love you", and I think that while that young love isn't as complete or mature as a true love I'd feel today, for the two of us it was real. He was my first kiss. We went from first base through third in like, two weeks. Blame it on the teenage hormones, I guess.

Both virgins, we talked about sex and how we wanted to lose our virginities (is that really plural for virginity?) to each other. Being freshmen in high school, our parents were all over us with strict curfews and open door policies for when we were hanging out in his bedroom. Doing it at one of our houses was basically out of the question. One afternoon (4/20 actually, though we weren't stoned) while making out in the park, we stopped for a few seconds and I guess the moment kind of clicked for both of us right then. The sunshine was coming down on us. I took my shorts off, he took his pants off. Condom on. I mounted.

So I lost my virginity in the grass in a big park, on 4/20. It was quick and sweet and quiet just like quick and sweet and quiet first times are. He asked me if I was okay as I put my shorts back on, and we said "I love you". We went to the swings and laughed about fucking on 4/20 in a park. My mom called and said I needed to come home for dinner.

He and I dated for the next six years - though it was on and off...we never went more than a month without at least an intense makeout session. I've spoken briefly before about how our relationship ended...it was only like seven months ago. And six years is a long time. I think about him often, though the relationship ended really badly and we have not seen or spoken to each other since the end. While I am completely over him now, I feel like in a lot of ways I will think about him a lot for the rest of my life. I mean, being with someone for SIX YEARS is a long time, especially since I'm young. I am who I am today because of him, and vice versa.

My story is lame.

Frustrated.

2009-05-06T22:46:00.001-05:00

I had to change my underwear TWICE today. This is how wet I am. Fuck my CONSTANTLY high sex drive and no boys around.

Thoughts

2009-05-04T20:47:00.000-05:00

I went on a crazy long job search today. I have six follow-up interviews tomorrow. I love what I do as a social worker and translator for female refugees dealing with depression/PTSD/etc., but it isn't steady work and it's pretty much just a glorified volunteer position. I can't rely on it financially. I also enjoy helping out my dad at his small business, and I know he needs the help, but I feel weird having my dad pay me for work, and it also isn't steady work. So I'm looking to pick up some shifts as a waitress; I feel like it's a good college-student job, something I can rely on, not too intellectually strenuous, and quick cash. I'm excited for the work...I like to be active and engaged all the time.

I had a date for this evening that I canceled. It was with a cute guy who was...well-endowed...that I met on OKC - lives in the area, university graduate, good job. We were going to meet for a movie and sex at my place. But as we were chatting online and texting, I got a weird feeling in my gut about it. He never said anything outright mean or demeaning or scary, but I felt a kind of weird manipulative and condescending tone in the way he talked to me, laughing at me in a belittling way sometimes, calling me late at night to see if I was free after he made me wait for hours for plans he had made with me. He also continuously pressured me to chat on webcam, which I generally have no problem with, but I'd told him that I wasn't comfortable with it at that point since I had just gotten out of the shower and didn't have makeup on and had that soppy drippy hair look and ew. And he kept asking me! And not in the way like, "Aw, c'mon, I bet you look great right now...". It was more like "Just show me your tits real quick, then you can turn it off." No sir. I will not "just show you my tits real quick." He already had quite a few hot pics that I had sent him, and I was clear in telling him that I didn't feel like any more play right then. BACK. UP. OFF.

Anyways, so I canceled. I went with my gut. I was not about to go fuck a guy who was going to boss me around in bed and manipulate me into insecurity and shit. Homeboy won't be fucking this.

But! On a more positive note, another arrangement is planned for next week with another guy: total gentleman, really funny, makes me feel secure and comfortable, lots of common things to talk about. Sweet.

I am reading the Chelsea Handler books that PPP lent me. LOVE THEM. She is my kind of bitch.

OMG I GOT THE RABBIT iVIBE. I have NEVER come so hard IN MY LIFE. HOLY SHIT. I'm not joking. Like, full body pulsing, throbbing, thrashing orgasm. Thing is POWERFUL. The clit stimulation is like nothing I've ever felt before. And, BONUS: WATERPROOF. We've discussed how much I like coming in the shower before. Yes please.

This has definitely been a stream of consciousness post. Thanks for reading, all. Peace and namaste.

Wet.

2009-04-26T14:45:00.000-05:00

My kitty needs attention. I'm getting my wax later today, which is only going to get me wetter because I'll feel sexier. Fuck I need some steady cock in my life. Until then, I guess it'll be me, my vibe, and David Beckham/Djimon Hounsou. In underwear.

SIGH.

Elephants

2009-04-23T22:16:00.000-05:00

If the elephants have past lives,
Yet are destined to always remember,
It's no wonder how they scream...
Like you and I they must have some temper

And I am dreaming of them on the plains,
Dirtying up their beds-
Watching for some sign of rain to cool their hot heads.

And how dare that you send me that card
When I'm doing all that I can do
You are forcing me to remember
When all I want is to just forget you.

If the tiger shall protect her young,
Then tell me how did you slip by?
All my instincts have failed me for once,
I must have somehow slept the whole night.

And I am dreaming of them with their kill,
Tearing it all apart,
Blood dripping from their lips,
And teeth sinking into heart.

And how dare that you say you'll call,
When you know I need some peace of mind.
If you have to take sides with the animals,
Won't you do it with one who is kind?

And if the hawks in the trees need the dead,
If you're living you don't stand a chance.
For a time though you share the same bed,
There are only two ends to this dance.

You can flee with your wounds just in time,
Or lie there as he feeds...
Watching yourself ripped to shreds,
And laughing as you bleed.

So for those of you falling in love:
Keep it kind
Keep it good
Keep it right
Throw yourself in the midst of danger...
But keep one eye open at night.

Oh hai again!

2009-04-19T14:10:00.000-05:00

Second post of the day, I know, but I'm trolling the interwebz until a meeting later this afternoon for the trip I'm taking to Rwanda this summer.

As a girl who is just discovering the beauty of double penetration AND the wild pleasure of good vibrators, I have been recently turned on to this by a close friend:

Twelve speeds. TWELVE. Waterproof (biggie for me, since I really like to get dirty in the shower before I get clean). Swirling beads. Swirling! I like my toys to be pretty complex. I like for there to be a lot going on down there: penetration (doubly sometimes), clitoral stimulation, vibration, etc. etc. Mommy likes.

Or I could get me one of these:

HUBBA HUBBA.

Off for more interweb trolling. PEACE.

Oh hai.

2009-04-19T13:23:00.000-05:00

I am feeling particularly motivated today and I thought I'd start off my afternoon by posting since I haven't in so long.

I went on a terrible date last night. It was actually a second date--the first date with this boy had been fun in an awkward first meeting kind of way, and I was willing to give him a second chance since he is a foodie and has a good job. I should've taken the open toed shoes (RED FLAG) that he wore on the first date more seriously and gotten a clue--this boy is AWK. For our second date, we went to a favorite restaurant of mine and went back to his place to watch a movie. We had flirted pretty intensely up to that point, and he was even dropping some teasing hints about some action that could take place back in his apartment. Being the horny girl I am, I was getting majorly excited and figured that in spite of still not having the best conversations, I could at least walk away with a decent makeout session...or more...at the end of the night. OH HOW WRONG I WAS.

I was laying sexily in his lap as we watched the movie, and I made sure my tits were in great viewing position if he peeked down my shirt. He was laying in such a way that made intimacy really difficult and "the next move" basically impossible for either of us; his arms were placed heavily on top of my head like some dead animal. Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, I moved, took my hair down out of the high ponytail it was in and asked for a backrub. He gave me a decent massage but--first red flag of the night--insulted my hair. Um, what? First off, my hair is amazing. Secondly, I am obviously giving off vibes that I want sessytimes to commence shortly, just where the fuck do you get off telling me my hair is weird and looks fake? Fuck you.

He then asked for a backrub of his own which I was more than happy to give though I was a little miffed about the hair insult (my hair is near and dear to me, I generally think it is my best physical characteristic and find negative comments about it hurtful and vaguely racist), but within TWO SECONDS of even touching his back, I heard his muffled voice tell me bluntly from the pillow to "SLOW DOWN." Okay, I thought, he is just being open about how he likes his backrubs. Maybe he didn't mean for it to come out in such a derisive tone. I continued--slower--only to get this eloquent little comment not five seconds later: "You're doing it totally wrong!" Seriously dude, will you shut the flying fuck up so I can do my thing? I'm not one to really brag about my skillz, but I know a thing or two about giving a goddamn backrub. And I am certainly not opposed to open communication about what a person likes and dislikes, but how about sweetly suggesting a change in my kneading technique, instead of an unequivocal and brusque generalization, eh? I immediately stopped and said, "um, what?" in my practiced bitch tone. He laughed nervously, realizing that I was not about to put up with back-handed little insults and demands. I less than half-heartedly (maybe quarter-heartedly) finished a rub down and plopped back down on the couch...definitely not in his lap anymore.

"You look like you're in total ecstasy after the backrub you just got from me," he said. Uh, is that really what my "BISH PLZ" face looks like? Like I am in "total ecstasy"? From what just happened, did you really just gather that I am enjoying myself that much, total putty in your hands? Just how dense ARE you?

As I sat on the end of the couch and texted BF4E Flea, I took notice of the scene happening in the movie. Trying to start a new conversation up, I commented about how eating with people tells you a lot about them--their table manners, what they eat, what the talk about at the table, are all behaviors I feel are indicative of their personalities as a whole. His response? "You must've had a terrible upbringing then." Oh. Fuck. No. Was that supposed to be a joke? Was I supposed to laugh? I didn't even really think it made any sense as a response to what I had said, and again I was taken aback at the dude's gall to insult me AGAIN and think that was okay. Yo homeboy: reading girl's signals, ur doin it rong.

I basically ignored his comment, asked where the bathroom was, took a piss, and put my shoes on. "I'm exhausted," I said. "Thanks for dinner." I picked up my purse and left without a look back. I'm pretty sure he was too surprised to even say "you're welcome". Saddest part: he actually thought he was doing a good job through this entire thing.

I hope he finds a girl that likes awkward, clumsy, unskillful, poorly-dressed, discourteous, nervously laughing boys. Cause this girl isn't it.

Ruh Roh.

2009-04-02T01:35:00.000-05:00

So, I jilled off today in my room and my suitemate, unbeknownst to me, was present on the other side of a very thin door. Oops.

I'm pretty sure she was more embarrassed about it than I was.

Ugh. I'm in the library working on three term papers I have due this semester. I feel like my life is a mess. I need to stop spending so much time getting off and start focusing on things.

I'm going to Whataburger with Flea for the honey butter chicken biscuit with hash brown fries and orange juice. I'd argue that a better middle of the night study break breakfast meal does not exist anywhere on the planet.

NOM NOM NOM.

A time to celebrate

2009-03-29T15:35:00.000-05:00

I had my interview for studying abroad yesterday. It's official: I'll be in Paris next semester.

I've visited the City of Love a couple times before, and spent extended time in France and Europe. I feel like I'm at home there, more than I am in my real home stateside. Quand je suis là, je vois la vie en rose. I really can't put into words how excited I am.

So once I told my parents it was official, my mom told me to celebrate. And I did. I went to the mall and met up with PrettyPrettyPrincess, had some delish sushi and great sake, bought amazing makeup, and got a few new clothes and accessories. I don't indulge like that often (most of my wardrobe is Target, I literally wear the same jeans and shoes every single day), and it felt good to treat myself and say "I've done well, I am happy, I want to celebrate the joyous things in my life now and the joyous things to come." Plus, I'm gonna need to look cute while I'm in Paris right? So I needed some new shit. Anyways, after the mall trip and good laughs with PPP, I went back to my place, hung with my bff flea for a bit, then got off four times with my amazing new vibe. AWESOME DAY.

Annnnd now I'm at home with my sister and mommy, watching The Bourne Identity.

You're welcome ladiez.

In which I masturbate shamelessly.

2009-03-22T13:04:00.000-05:00

I GOT MY FIRST VIBRATOR.

I know, why the fuck hadn't I gotten one before, right?! I finally decided that I had had enough and I went to my local vibe retail location and I got one and I LOVE IT. I got off thrice in the shower. I may never leave my room again.

Here's what I got:

Isn't it great?! It's bendy and has this awesome smooth gel-like consistency, different speeds, and it's waterproof. My mind was BLOWN.

I have JILL FEVER BABY. My vibe and I are BFF.

some thoughts

2009-03-20T20:25:00.000-05:00

You know, I feel sorry for those out there (boys and girls but especially girls) who are waiting for marriage to lose their V-cards. I know this sounds really...idk, condescending and judgmental or something, and its probs is, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

When a girl waits till marriage to get her freak on--well, that's just it really. If you only have one partner your entire life, you probs don't really EVER get your freaky freak on. I have a friend who is definitely waiting until marriage because sex is a sacred religious act only to be shared within the limits of a marriage before God...or something...and she's a total "good girl" and the thing is, I bet she is a TOTAL FREAK in the bed. I feel like I have a sense for these things. I bet this girl would LOVE to be cum on, to have her hair pulled, to have some teeth nibble her inner thighs. But sadly, SHE will not ever know this. SHE will never know why sex with her husband isn't really all that good, why it's kind of a chore and why she never orgasms. SHE will never understand Sex and the City. SHE will never know the beauty of double penetration.

And I feel sorry for that. I think every single person deserves a rich, full sexual experience in their lives, including all sorts of experimenting and trying things out to figure out what they like and what gets them off. I know that everyone has a different, personal definition of fulfilling and satisfying sex, and for some this could very well mean some plain ass missionary with your one hubby for the rest of your days. But I doubt this really applies to all of the people who limit themselves to such an experience--and I wish they knew better.

I'm gonna go do some yoga and meditate. Oh, and look for a mala on etsy. PEACE motherfuckers.

shiver

2009-03-12T00:40:00.000-05:00

It's cold tonight. And rainy. I hate this weather so much.

While looking around for a good quote to start out my application essay for study abroad (because I'm super original), I came across this quote from (my man) Walt Whitman:

"This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning god, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body."

Shit. That is heavy. And yet light. And most importantly, TRUE. And it explains me and my life and what I want.

K so my beautiful friend convinced me to start this. I plan on having fun on here. Fuck you later. (: