Why not having sex SUCKS.

Because I feel super restless and I can't focus - at school, on the subway, walking down the street, watching tv, etc, without some hot guy coming around some corner and distracting me. Because I'm always wet. Because I have no idea how to get any exercise without regular sex and masturbation. Running? No thanks.

On the other hand, not having sex this past month has given me a chance to think about my relationships a little bit more; that is, the relationships I have with the people I fuck, and if I want those relationships to change. I think I'm ready for an actual relationship, like, to be someone's girlfriend, whereas in the past year or so (since the bad breakup) I haven't been.

The thing is, even during this past year of hookups and fuck buddies, I've been pretty discouraged as to the type of men that are available to me currently. I know good relationships always start in those "when you least expected it" kind of situations, but really all I ever see are conservative guys (no thanks), dumb guys (next please), guys who aren't doing anything with their lives (read a book), and guys who use the word "dope" to describe satisfying events (ugh).

I guess it's just a BE PATIENT kinda thing. And in the meantime, there sure is a hell of a lot of shit I need to figure out for myself. Jesus christ, I mean, I'm in PARIS. I gotta live it up.

It would REALLY help if I could find a French guy to fuck though. Seriously.

transatlantic dreams aren't any different...

I really want to stop having dreams that I'm fucking me ex. Or that he's fucking other girls. Or that he doesn't want to fuck me. Or that he's fucking me and someone else at the same time. Or that he wants to fuck me but there is something wrong with my vagina and he can't get in so he gets mad at me.

I want my ex out of my head. Now. I am in another country, it's been more than a year. I want him gone.

Quick Update!

I am leaving for Paris in....16 hours.

Just letting everyone know that I will be keeping a separate travel blog during my semester there:

http://mixeddoesparis.blogspot.com

I'd love to see everyone here over there! Please note however that my blog there will be rated "G" and keeping comments to a less explicit nature than they'd be over here would be much appreciated. I'll have friends from real life reading along over there, and not all of them are in on...this side of me. [:

At any rate, I will still be updating here as much as I can. Thanks to everyone for reading!

ITS NOT JUST ABOUT SEX

But my blog sorta is.

I've been kind of uncomfortably preoccupied with the idea that my blog is 99.9% about sex. In some ways, it limits people's perception of me as someone only concerned with sex, with nothing to talk about other than sex, and with a pretty lame sex life at that. In other ways, only talking about one subject, be it sex or anything else, gets pretty boring.

I am more than sex, and my life revolves around much more than who fucks me and how. I'm a successful student at a well-known, competitive private university, where I'm working on a double major and a minor. I'm biracial (hence my pseudonym) and am super proud of my ethnicity and rich cultural background. I'm involved in, and lead, numerous campus organizations, and am a very politically-oriented person. I volunteered for the Obama campaign and met him. I can, and will, discuss health care reform, judicial process, foreign policy, and hair product - among other things - with you until you want to punch me in the face. I am aggressively attentive to issues regarding global peace and justice. I am a fierce feminist. I'm trilingual and work as a translator for refugees who are survivors of torture in need of psychiatric/psychological services in this country but lack the language skills to be able to effectively communicate with a therapist. I plan on joining the Teach for America corps after graduating next spring and going to law school after I complete my service. I'd like to work at the International Criminal Courts at the Hague, prosecuting criminals of war. All of these things, along with the ever-evolutionary condition of being a liberated sexual being, make up who I am. I strive everyday to make my beliefs and passions my actions and my life.

On the other hand, this blog represents a place where I can talk about that specific side of me - the side concerned with sex. I live in a conservative community and, save for a treasured few friends (who read and write around these here parts too!), have not found a safe place for openly expressing my self sexually as I do here. I actively express myself in plenty of ways everyday, with what I do and how I do it. And obviously a good part of sexual expression comes from the actual having of the sex. But talking about it and reflecting is important, at least for me, as well. So that's what this place is for. MIXED's sex corner.

ANYWAYS. Back to wanking. Peace lovers.

Dreams.

I keep having dreams that I'm fucking girls. I'm not disturbed by this, I just think it's interesting seeing as I've never dreamt of fucking a female and all the sudden every night my brain is delving into what my subconscious thinks it feels like to fuck a woman. Shrug.

Britni was here this weekend. Things ended up crazy and I couldn't hang out with her and PPP as much as I wanted to, but it was amazing having her here for a few days of girl fun. She's taught me a lot about being a proud sexual being, and about accepting and owning the woman I am. She rocks. PPP's drunk texts and tweets from the nights Brit was here were hilariously out of control.

I want to fuck my manager at work. I used to hate him and think he was the most anal-retentive and rude person ever, then all the sudden I find myself madly attracted to him and thinking of various ways to get him in the dry storage room in the back of the restaurant to blow him. I believe the turning point in my feelings for him came one night when I was the last server working and he and I shared a crème brulée and talked about our favorite college professors. Intelligence makes me wet. He also wears a really sexy watch. So fucking hot.

I need a pedicure and a dye job for my hair. I want to wear super pale pink Barbie lip color. I wear intense eye makeup (when I decide I'm going to wear makeup) with lots of colors like turquoise, blue, pink, purple, and green - but I need a style revamp. I feel like a new chapter of my life is opening with my semester abroad, and it's just one of those weird times where I want my outside to fit my feelings inside. And my feelings inside are sparkly, with lots of colors, and pale pink lips. My feelings have lips. Don't worry about it.

Pot Psych

I found this week's episode of Pot Psychology on Jezebel to be particularly funny. I find pretty much every episode to be particularly funny.


I have nothing to say. I work all day long, every day. I serve gluttonous idiots huge portions of unhealthy food for meager wages. I am SO ready to be in Europe.

textsfromlastnight.com

(704): I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
(803): Genius.


This website makes me LOL.